Le6ron James Will Complete The Process

May 4, 2018 |  By Mishka

Most media outlets are speculating that Lebron James will go to L.A. On the surface, it looks like a great fit as LA is always an attractive destination for NBA talent. Lebron has a house there and he’s known as an LA kinda guy. On top of this, he said he would not take anything other than a max deal upon signing his new contract and there are only a handful of teams that have the cap space to pay him a max salary and keep a group of talented role players around him, that require bountiful contracts themselves. The Lakers are one of the few teams that can sign him and another All-Star, and they already have young talent. Many sports journalists believe that (in theory) this would make the Lakers a contending team for a championship.  Technically yes, this would make them a contender, but not in a unique sense that differentiates them from how Lebron on any team makes them a contender (I have more to say about this later).

There are much smarter options if Lebron wants to be in contention for multiple championships, such as Houston or San Antonio. If the rumors of Lebron going to the Lakers actually come into fruition, it’s because contention isn’t the most important factor for Lebron, as his off-the-court aspirations are (he has a young, but thriving Hollywood Production company called SpringHill Entertainment). This can very well be the case, as Lebron has been playing since 2003, and has nothing left to prove (except maybe his GOAT status over Jordan). It could also be, the simple fact that he wants to live in LA amid his star-studded friend group in exquisite weather and enjoy his massive estate (which is estimated to grow to over a Billion by the time he reaches his 40’s).

For the premise of the post however, let’s assume that Lebron’s focus isn’t already on his production company or just chilling in LA with all of his friends, as he has an entire lifetime to do outside of basketball (after all, he is still only 33). Let’s assume what he wants most is the attainable feat of becoming the undisputed best player of all time, above Jordan, above Kobe, and above contemporary rivals such as Kevin Durant and Steph Curry. While people (such as myself) already believe he is at that point, there are many in the sports media world that make the case for why any one of the aforementioned is better then King James. The only way to truly get these other arguments to disappear is what it always comes down to- for James to win more championships. And although Houston and San Antonio may be better options then others, there is only one team that I see as Prime. That is, only the Philadelphia 76er’s (and I’m not a Phila fan btw, just a Lebron fan) can give James continuous depth for an extended period of time. In turn, giving him the greatest hopes of winning multiple championships. Here is the breakdown of why Lebron should join ‘The Process.’

It is the easiest path to the Finals– As of the present time, there are really only five teams that are relevant in the east: the Cavs, Sixers, Raptors, Celtics, and Bucks. Now automatically if Lebron leaves the Cavs, they are a non-factor. None of the other teams in the east (besides the Sixers) have enough depth to be better then the premier teams in the Western Conference. If Lebron joins the 76ers, it’s almost a guarantee to make it to The Finals year after year unless a team in the east suddenly becomes a Golden State/Houston- grade powerhouse, which I don’t think is likely anytime soon. Whereas if Lebron joins Houston or San Antonio, he’ll always have to get past Golden State or any of the other great teams in the west to make it to The Finals. 

Great young players with extend Lebron’s longevity– Another key for Lebron is to stay in his prime for as long as possible. Amazing young players like Ben Simmons, Joel Embiid, and Markelle Fultz will allow Lebron to reduce the amount of minutes he has to play per game, thus keeping him healthier longer. 

Younger players have more years left then older players do and are more likely to take leadership critique– These points are self-explanatory, but let’s juxtapose this with if he goes to Houston. Firstly, Chris Paul may no longer be there because he is coming up for free agency next year so Lebron would be relying on his chemistry with James Harden. Harden is a veteran in this league and there is no telling when his talent will eventually start diminishing but it’s probably safe to say it won’t get much better then the MVP-caliber season he is currently enjoying. Secondly, can two stars of such an extreme caliber effectively collaborate? History between Lebron and Kyrie Irving would suggest not. 

What happens in the final years of his career when Lebron is no longer Lebron?– This is probably the most important factor on the list and subsequently the one nobody in the media is talking about. Like most mortals, Lebron’s physical state will eventually diminish to where he becomes less and less competitive. It will be at this point where instead of old veterans riding the coat-tails of Lebron (like Dwayne Wade used to do when they were both on Miami), Lebron can finally cash in on his clout and start riding the wave of younger players in their prime. Ben Simmons and Joel Embiid will allow James to be on a competitive team, when he is no longer as competitive of a player as he is now. 

As much as the LA media wants you to believe it, the Lakers are just not a very good team– Lonzo Ball is overrated, not very intelligent, and has a father that basically is bound to destroy his son’s career. Also the addition of an all-star besides Lebron that significantly makes the team better is smoke and mirrors when broken down to its core. Let’s look at the rankings from the free agency class of 2018: 

(Rankings from hoopshype.com)

Let’s ignore the blasphemy of not having Lebron ranked #1, and talk about Paul George being ranked #3 out of this free agency class. Anyone who has watched this season can objectively state that Paul George is not as good as advertised. The 2016-2017 Oklahoma City Thunder had a record of 47-35 and after they acquired Paul George AND Carmelo Anthony for the 2017-2018 season, their record was 48-34. This says a tremendous amount about how both George and Anthony are sickeningly overrated, considering they could only help Westbrook win one more game then essentially by himself. It’s safe to say Paul George is not the compliment to Lebron the Lakers need to beat Golden State. That said, Durant is obviously staying with the Warriors and Chris Paul won’t be coming to the Lakers, as the Lakers have committed to Lonzo Ball as their Point Guard. The only player that can effectively make the Lakers a force when combining Lebron with another All-Star (in my opinion) is to pair him with Demarcus Cousins. Cousins torn Achilles puts this all up to chance however, as there are durability questions as to whether he will return the same player. (There will be a future Demarcus Cousins- Lebron James on the Lakers speculative article). The bottom line however, is George is not even as good as Golden State’s fourth best player- that is I would take Draymond Green over him any day. Save for Lebron himself and Durant who is staying put on GS, there is nobody in this free agent class better then Kyrie Irving (including Boogie). Kyrie paired with Lebron James was just good enough to beat GS in the Finals by the skin of their teeth (in game 7) one time, and lose definitively to them the other two times they met in the finals. Safe to say Paul George, Demarcus Cousins, or Deandre Jordan are not going to become the saviors Lebron needs to overcome that level of competition. 

And lastly, the secret nobody knows: Lebron has already decided in his mind he is going to be a Sixer. Much like how news outlets review Donald Trump handshakes, I review Lebron hugs with other players. To me, it is the greatest insight of the man himself and the best indication of what he is going to do in the future. 

The Friend Zone Hug– Here we can see Lebron giving the ‘hehehe’ friend zone hug to Paul George (further validating my theory that George isn’t good enough for James, and he knows it). The friend zone hug, like everything regarding the friend zone is the ultimate kiss of death. Paul George should already give his hopes up on ever eloping with Lebron with LA because Lebron’s body language here tells us he doesn’t want to be anything more then friends. He doesn’t even like Paul George as much as he likes Kyle Korver as his Side Piece. Look at how instantaneously smitten he gets when Kyle Korver holds his hand:

Next we have the You’re My Bitch Hug, which Lebron best demonstrates on his former teammate Kyrie Irving. The ‘you’re my bitch hug’ is not as bad as the friend zone hug in the Lebron hug hierarchy, because it at least means you have the potential to be on the same team with him, just as long as you recognize you’re James’ bottom bitch and his overall Hoe. Examples below:

Our second to last hug is the ‘I Want Nothing To Do With You Hug.’ It is very rare to see a Lebron ever utilize this hug in the wild, because there are almost no players he disrespects enough to do this to in front of people. It means he finds you so appalling and putrid, he has to cut the hug short, before the embrace can reach completion. Here we can see him do it to, of all people?- Lonzo Ball!

Lonzo is trying to keep him in place for the cameras, but Lebron is obviously trying to swiftly move leftward as Lonzo is trying to keep him centered with strategic lower back hand placement. Further confirmation that Lebron won’t be a Laker. 

Lastly, and numbah one in the Lebron hug hierarchy is the Pure Love Hug. This is what happens when an unstoppable force meets and immovable object. It means Lebron has finally found his man/men. It means he’s ready for commitment, not just some cheap fling. And well, well, well- I’ve only found three pictures of this hug and two of them are Sixers (as can be seen in the thumbnail and header picture of this piece:

You can tell from the pictures that Lebron doesn’t even want to let go. He wants to stay in both of these moments forever with Joel Embiid and Ben Simmons. Lebron doesn’t even hug his wife like this. The only other person: 

History repeats itself. And much like Lebron embracing Wade, winning rings and wearing the number six, history will once again repeat itself, and The Process complete itself, with different mediums but the same result. So as Lebron changes back to wearing the number six…

Wearing his new team’s jersey…

While chasing down Jordan’s legendary six rings…

Lebron will further confirm his allegiance to the Illuminati and become the undisputed GOAT. 

“Lebron won his Sixth Ring, Wearing Six on his Sixers Jersey, don’t tell me there’s no such thing as the satanic forces of the illuminati”- Kanye West in 2022 (probably).


Comment Rules
Comment Section Rules
  1. Vivamus rhoncus ullamcorper consectetur. Vivamus malesuada euismod nulla vitae ullamcorper. Aliquam non auctor ante. Quisque et sollicitudin purus, sit amet vestibulum ex.
  2. Nam consequat eros ex, a tincidunt neque faucibus nec. In lobortis malesuada scelerisque. Sed rhoncus nulla in elit mollis, viverra pellentesque ante maximus. In facilisis placerat dui.
  3. Vivamus vel arcu magna. Mauris eros elit, aliquet eu malesuada et, vehicula pretium odio.
  4. Quisque viverra suscipit scelerisque. Integer sit amet mauris erat. Mauris a mi lorem. Phasellus a condimentum nibh, nec rutrum elit. Fusce non nulla rutrum, egestas sem sed, iaculis tortor. Etiam magna mi, maximus a ligula sit amet, interdum dignissim nulla.
  5. Cras egestas magna id enim commodo, id viverra justo pharetra. Ut molestie quam at ex porttitor tempor.
  6. Nam enim sapien, fringilla id nisl at, mattis tempor quam. Pellentesque lectus quam, pellentesque nec dapibus aliquam,